MY HEAD HURTS
These past few weeks I have been experiencing a persistent pounding in my head. I am not quick to pop a pain pill, mostly because I try to prove to myself I can withstand more pain than I would like to bear, but the few home remedies I opt for were no match for the pesky prudent of a headache that has made an appearance every week this past month. Although I’ve tried soaking in hot bath water, massaging my temples, applying essential oils and resting, I have not been able to shake this unwanted throbbing feeling.
My initial thought for this headache was rather drastic- stress. Besides my headache’s tenacity to be the biggest thing on my mind, it has not been the best form of relief from the life moments that have occurred this month. As I approach twenty-five years old, my one and only wish is to revisit my childhood one more time, for the sake of my ignorance being blissful to the strenuous moments of life. This year, 2023, I have realized the real joke is on the adults and I was too eager to blossom into this deceptive life that I unknowingly jumped in head first!
The amount of self awareness this large, ugly creature has created within me is necessary. Being able to make choices and display behaviors that align with my values and beliefs requires a certain concentration. Overtime, I have distanced myself from situations that could result in the demise of the person I have worked so hard to become. The isolation is lonely, yet crucial for the development of the woman I want to be. Who knew the symptoms of my desire to be a better version of myself would cause uncomfortable pain?
Looking over the past few months in this year, I have been extremely hopeful for a new season and a new me. Because I knew I would be reaching a milestone this year, I wanted my New Year’s resolutions to be intentional and detailed. I went into 2023 with the acceptance of my failed attempts of previous years to fulfill my true potential and vowed to do everything in my ability to propel myself forward no matter how much life pulls me back. I have been praying, declaring, and practicing the life I want and the person I see myself becoming and because of this, I have been experiencing extreme discomfort. Initially, I disregarded the growing pains attached to the development I desperately longed for, but the constant pounding in my head is a reminder of the discomfort I have recently experienced.
